I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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