Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize