office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize