You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize