I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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