the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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