My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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