What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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