drinking out of a sandbucket again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize