eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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