i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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