Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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