so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize