I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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