their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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