I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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