That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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