apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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