The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to calm my uterus...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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