hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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