he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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