my sisters under your porch take her home
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I would fuck him just for his dog
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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