Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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