Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize