he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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