I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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