this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize