We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize