I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize