similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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