I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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