i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize