Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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