do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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