One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize