i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize