Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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