We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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