Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize