I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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