Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Girls should come with a carfax report
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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