After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize