Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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