We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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