sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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