its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The air was thick with penises
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize