well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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