Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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