I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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