my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize